Nursing

Last night was a long night. It started early as I was covering the floor so the day shift could go to staff meeting. Things were a little crazy but nothing I couldn't handle. Than I had a patient start to slowly decline. She was on comfort care, and a decline was expected, just maybe not quite so fast. She passed away around nine thirty last night. As I was working with her family, I remembered something that was said to me years ago.

I was working as an aide, and I was training another aide. We had a patient pass away and I was crying as we got the body ready for the mortuary. The other aide looked at me and said "Aren't you used to death by now?" That question shocked me a little. No. I'm not used to death. I don't care if it is an expected event, an end to a long, painful journey. Or maybe it's an unexpected tragedy. Or a miscarriage. You don't ever get used to death.

You learn to handle death as you deal with it professionally. You learn to put aside what you are feeling and help the family to have the best experience possible. You learn to take a break, hours later after everything is done and just breathe for a minute. You cry. You buck it up and go back to the rest of your patients, because you are a nurse. You deal with birth and death and everything good and bad in between. You comfort people in the worst moments of their life as they deal with saying goodbye to a loved one. You watch them as they try to figure out where to turn next. You learn empathy in a way that no one else understands.

That is what being a nurse is. It is not about the pills or the IV meds. It's not about the wiping butts and cleaning up bodily fluids. It's about the small moments when you give someone a warm blanket. When you walk a child down to the fish tanks to give their parent a small break from a sick child. When your patient confides in you their fears and joys. When they show you endless pictures of their grandchildren that they are so proud of. When you comfort them after receiving devastating news. When you are able to provide a small amount of relief from the pain and confusion. It's about that patient that makes you laugh the whole way down the hallway because of a stupid joke they told you. It's about the people. I chose to be a nurse. I knew it involved all sorts of things other people find disgusting. I knew there would be shifts where I never sit down or eat or pee. Shifts where repeating the same thing to a confused patient would get frustrating and tiring. Shifts where you become completely emotionally drained. Shifts where you give absolutely everything you have to your patients and you get home with absolutely nothing left. Shifts where you put your personal problems and worries aside to care for the people in your care. Shifts where you never once hear the word thank you. Shifts where you meet the most amazing people who will inspire and strengthen you. Shifts where you feel appreciated and loved. Shifts where you remember why you chose to be a nurse.